The Adventures of Mika

http://www.haaretz.com/hasen/pages/ShArtUnd.jhtml?itemNo=542533

This weekend was my first real Shabbat in Jerusalem. I was here for it last week, but my cousin and his gf went to visit friends and stuff, so it didn't really count.

On Friday I woke up to a georgeous day, so I went downtown to the shuk (it's like a permanent, open-air farmer's market) and bought some fruit, then sat in the sun and people-watched, talked to a cousin on the phone, and just enjoyed the day. I got back to my cousin's in the early afternoon, where they were cleaning like nothing you've ever seen. Traditionally Friday before sundown is when you clean the house and prepare for resting on the Sabbath, plus Passover (Pesach in Hebrew) is coming up and that is also an excuse for spring cleaning. So of course I offer to help - what else am I going to do, sit on the couch and watch them clean? That would really help improve the stereotype of lazy Americans...

We cleaned for 4 hours. The apartment is not very large, I have no idea how it was possible. Of course, there are 3 people, 3 dogs, and a cat living here right now, so maybe it does make sense. I have to admit though, it is completely satisfying to enjoy a clean area, and know that you made it that way.

A friend of my hosts came over for Shabbat dinner. Have I mentioned that my cousin's gf is more traditional than my fam? She keeps kosher and everything. It's kind of cool, actually, since she doesn't try to force it on me or anything. So anyhow the friend comes over, and my cousin gets out his Turkish drum, and we sing some Shabbat songs, then say the Shabbat blessings, and have a delicious meal. It was really nice! Funny, though, knowing that my cousin is from a kibbutz and not raised anything close to religious, and still not as into it as his gf. But it was lovely, and felt appropriate, given that I'm in arguably the holiest city in the world.

Today I woke up and it was raining. It was suggested that maybe I brought a bit of San Francisco to Israel, ahaha. I had an appointment with the Association for Americans and Canadians in Israel, so I hopped on the bus with plenty of time. As I got off the bus at what I thought was the right stop, I noticed that there were lots of puddles. I headed up the street, accidentally stepping in one. And then another. And then another. Then I realized I was going the wrong way. So I turn back, into another puddle. By now, my pants are soaked practically to the knee. Finally, I stop and ask a man where the street I am looking for is. I tried in Hebrew, but apparantly I was so hopeless he switched to English. I stepped in several more puddles until I finally found the place, only to find out that the woman I was supposed to meet with was out sick today. There was no way in hell I was leaving without some darn good advice at this point, so I sat there for a bit until they got someone. He gave me a nice long list of tasks I need to complete. Not fun, but at least I won't be wandering aimlessly around the country anymore! Maybe I should get stilts to combat the puddles.

Now before anyone gets all fired up, I have not been drafted. Yet. haha just kidding - I hope. However, the Israeli beauracracy seems to take pleasure from making it as difficult as possible to be truly free from my patriotic obligations. I got the official letter excusing me from military service before I came to Israel, but now it seems that I need an official stamp or signature. That I have to get in person. And although there are army bases all over this freaking country, with lots of Important people at all of them, I can only go to ONE office. In Haifa. I am in Jerusalem. For those of you who don't know the geograpgy of Israel very well, let's just say that it is faaaaaaaarrr.

Of course, it would have been nice if someone could tell me this right away. When my uncle asked the Department of Immigrant Absorption, they said I could get the stamp from any base. Apparently, they don't know. This all is an intro for my day yesterday.....

I have a cousin who is in the army. This cousin's job involves a lot of travelling around the country. Therefore, she is pretty familiar with all the bases, and we agree that she will take me to the base in Tel Aviv (the main one for the whole country) to get my stamp. It's only like 45 min from Jeru on the bus, and she will be there anyways.

We meet at the central bus station of Tel Aviv, and get on another bus. Here I'm thinking it might be a few minutes, since I know there's something army-ish right in the center of the city. We were on the bus for like an hour. In the meantime I asked one little question about the different colored berets and uniforms, etc. on all the soldiers I see walking around. Thursday and Sunday are the days all the soldiers go to and from home for the weekend, so all public transportation is packed with them, and you start to notice all the little differences. Soldiers get free public transportation, which I suppose is fair when you consider the service they are providing. Anyway back to my innocent question - the rest of the day was spent with my cousin informing me of all the meanings and intricacies of the Israeli military soldeirs and their jobs and rankings.

Soldiers with bigger guns are newer than soldiers with the smaller M-16s. Men walking around in normal clothes and an M-16 casually strapped to his back are "warriors" who have served for more than 2 years (we saw this one guy in shorts and a tank top and flip flops and an M-16, I wish I had gotten a picture!). My cousin doesn't carry her gun when she travels - don't worry, she says, my gun is safely locked at my base. Near Egypt. Um, great.... The different colored hats denote different forces, the tassels indicate the job, the pin tells something else, the patch on the shoulder tells where they are based, etc. etc. I'm pretty sure I'm not spreading military secrets here, since my cousin told me and I'm just a silly American civilian, but don't tell anyone, just in case.

After forever on the bus, we get off semi-near the base. We have to take another, special, bus to get to the front gates. There, we aren't allowed in (ok, I'm not allowed in - of course my cousin the soldier can get onto the army base) because I have to get the stamp in Haifa. THANKS FOR TELLING ME, PEOPLE. So we take the special bus back. There are about 548,987 soldiers waiting for the bus into Tel Aviv, so they can go home for the weekend. All in uniform. They have to wear their uniform when travelling. And me, so not a soldier in any way, shape or form. We wait for the bus while I try not to stare at the various guns and tough-looking people just a little younger than myself. When the bus comes, it is a free-for-all to pack as many people on as possible, including the overnight bags and the afore-mentioned armory. (is that the right word? I have no idea.) My cousin, being the superIsraeli that she is, positions us right at the front of the line and we get seats. The next 10 minutes are spent packing the bus so tight it was about to explode at its seams - it was seriously like a can of sardines. And the soldiers are pushing each other around, cracking jokes to the (pissed-off) bus driver, as if there wasn't a highly developed killing machine being carried by most of the people on the bus. No biggie.

We made it back to the city in one piece, and got some food. I love my cousin to death, and am really really glad that I got to spend some time with her, even if we were completely unsuccessful and I was in danger of being trampled by one of the most highly developed armies in the world. I have emerged safely from the experience. whew.

Yesterday I ate breakfast at 11, lunch at 5:30, and had a coffee and cake around 9.

For those of you who aren't caught up with your world current events, yesterday was Election Day in Israel. Did you know that it's a national holiday? Everyone has the day off and everything. Maybe if they did that in the US, there would be a higher voter turnout. Well maybe not - there was a lot of discussion here because it was the lowest voter turnout ever. Anyhow it was awesome to see all the people out and about, and hearing about the last-minute campaigning and everything. Passions run high around here.

On a totally unrelated front, I went to the Old City of Jerusalem the other day, and visited the Kotel (the Wailing Wall). There aren't words to describe the magic of that place, I think even if you aren't Jewish you can appreciate it. And the Old City is like nothing else - narrow lanes filled with merchants calling out to you to look at their stuff, the stones shiny from years and years of pedestrians wandering around. There are 4 quarters to the city - Jewish, Muslim, Christian, and Armenian. You can tell when you enter a new area by the predominant language on the shop signs, the religious centers, and even what the people look like and how they are dressed. I might not reccommend wandering by yourself (I'm not going to do it again), even though there are police patrolling, soldiers, and cameras at every corner. But it is a fascinating, wonderful place. Haha maybe I can become a professional wanderer... do those exist?

Happy Birthday Mom!!!

For those of you who don't already know, Jewish mothers - actually all Jewish females - are some of the most intense matchmakers on the planet. For many, there is nothing better than seeing a nice young Jewish girl married off to an equally nice young Jewish boy. This machmaking is called a shiddich, or shiddiching (yiddish, maybe?). Well, in my case, I don't have just my mother. Besides the fact that she's in Cali, lucky for me she's not a pushy matchmaker like that. However, in coming to Israel, I have inherited a whole family invested in the idea of me falling in love and getting married - to an Israeli - so I will stay in Israel forever - and have lots of babies - so that my mom will return also - and all will be right with the world again. In my special case, it seems the men in my family have also gotten in on it. As of last night, the race is on. My cousin's friend was over, and he started pumping her about nice young men she might know. Well, this friend also happens to be quite the accomplished matchmaker. So within 45 seconds, she had a list in her head, with bachelor #1 picked out. She was going to call him right away to come over and see how we like each other, but I was like, Ummmm..... So instead my cousin gave her my phone number so that this guy can call me. How much was I a part of this process? Pretty much none. I would just laugh and shake my head, but I'm afraid that if I stop paying attention for one minute, I'll find myself betrothed to some "nice young Israeli man." Oy.

I have gotten serious about trying to find a place to live. After more than 3 weeks in this country it's about time, huh? The problem is, I am basically illiterate in Hebrew. Gosh that's embarrassing to admit. Almost as embarrassing as admitting that I'm never positive how to spell embarrassing. Two r's? Two s's? Two of both, or some combination of one and two? I'm never quite sure... Anyhow, the point is that househunting in a foreign language is a ginormous challenge. There are some websites in English, but not much. I went to look at a studio yesterday. Talk about depressing - the place reminded me of a (small) cave. It was basically one room, a counter with a sink in it, and a bathroom. And a tiny little window with bars on the outside. No thank you. So I have continued to look, although it seems that most people who are looking for roommates, that I have seen, are all religious. And, well, I don't think that would work out very well. I called one place and the second question was, Am I religious? I said No, and the girl was like, Ok, bye.

In other news, I have mentioned that I am staying with my cousin while I search. Did I talk about the animals? There are 3 dogs and a cat the size of a medium-sized dog. One of the dogs looks like a bear. It's funny because even when no one else is here, it's like a party. Sort of. A party of animals? That sounds weird. But you know, the apartment is never empty. It's nice.

I also wanted to say that I LOVE getting emails from everyone, and that I apologize if I don't respond or take forever to do so. They make my day. Now if you could just make them in Hebrew so I can practice........ haha just kidding. I won't put anyone else through my suffering. Er, I mean, wonderful learning experience.

So what am I doing these days? I start out by searching the same websites over and over in the hopes that someone put the perfect job/house ad online, taking breaks to obsessively check my email. After a bit of that, I take the bus to the city center and wander around, getting lost and then found again. This, of course, doesn't help with job- or house-hunting, and really doesn't even improve my Hebrew. But it's fun. This city fascinates me, with the superreligious people all over the place, within a modern city and society, which also has an ancient feel. Eventually I take the bus back here, study some Hebrew, and try to fall asleep on the portion of the couch that the cat-dog allows me. Haha that sounds bad, but usually it's enough room. really. See why I need my own place?

Back in Jerusalem. I went on Highway 6 to get here, which runs pretty much parallel to The Green Line for much of the way. The Green line is the imaginary line (was it imaginary?) that was drawn between Israel and the West Bank when Israel occupied that territory in 1967 (right? haha uh oh I had better get my dates right, that could be embarrassing). So basically we were driving along this afternoon, and I'm looking to my left, and there is the West Bank. right there. It looked just like the other side of the highway, I'm not going to lie. I didn't even see any terrorists or anything.

-aw c'mon, that was funny. Don't be so paranoid, I was putting myself in more danger by being on the Israeli roads than by being near the green line. Have I mentioned that Israeli drivers are insane? Seriously, driving in Israel should be considered an extreme sport. The lines are used more as suggested guidelines, instead of clear markings of whose lane belongs to whom. Drivers meander all over the road, and leadfoot doesn't even begin to describe the extreme acceleration and immediate brake-stomping experience. You might hear horns honking, but it's not necessarily for any particular reason. My uncle says that when Israelis get on the roads, they go to war. This is soooooooo true. and we won't even get into the compensation conversation, ahahahaaa..... what?

what?

My uncle is taking me back to Jerusalem tomorrow, where I will stay with my cousin until I find my own apartment. I am superpsyched.

I found internet access on the kibbutz, and I thought I would take the opportunity to let you all in on some of my experiences I didn't have time to share before:

2 March 2006
What I learned today: Israel has a national basketball team. It has so many players from the US, the coach has to talk to them in English. Ahahahaha

4 March 2006
Fresh avocados

5 March 2006
I think I saw Albert on my run this morning.
tomatoes fresh off the vine.

6 March 2006
Today I learned: "Mika" is the spark when you light a match. cool, huh?

7 March 2006
The smell of the cows reminds me of lacrosse at Poly - just breathe through the mouth and plug your noses, girls!
I was informed today that Itkins (Itkin is the family name on this side of the fam) are Winners. Crazy, but also winners. That's crazy on 2 sides of the family, people.

15 March 2006
Purim in Jerusalem. I wandered all around the city center - there's this area that's pedestrian-only, and they had all these performers going along the whole area. There were people everywhere, children in costumes, even cotton candy machines. Orthodox men are driving around in cars and vans, blasting music and yelling out the window. It is the one day of the year that they are commanded by God to go out, get drunk, party, and have a good time. Not a bad religion, huh? By far the best sight today (aside from the 15-foot Elvis serenading a crowd) was a young Orthodox guy pouring a bottle of wine down his throat as he hurried down the street with his friend. At about 2 pm. ahahahahah

16 March 2006
Israelis will always offer you something hot to drink - coffee or tea - even when it is like 1,000 degrees outside. these desert people, I'm telling you...........

I'm in Jerusalem right now, visiting a cousin. And I have to say, I absolutely love it. Granted, I have only seen the Hebrew University campus (where my cousin is a student) and the neighborhood that he lives in, but still. It is beautiful, and just so much better than Tel Aviv, for me. So far.

I have noticed that the Arab-Israeli and Palestinian-Israeli issues (not quite the same thing, although connected) are constantly present and accounted for - understandably- in everyday life; but the truth is that I do not feel unsafe at all. I feel more scared when I am in the car with an Israeli driver, with a bunch of other Israeli drivers, than I am just being in Jerusalem - which is a city on the border with the West Bank and notorious as a focal point of the Jewish-Muslim disagreement. I have also been seeing quite a bit of a cousin who is in the army. I love her dearly, and while spending time with her and her friends should make me more worried (haha I love them, but they're not the way you would think of people employed in protecting their country), it doesn't. It is interesting to hear the persective of young soldiers. The word "terrorist" is interchangable with "Palestinian" for them. And the rest of the Arab world is pretty much as bad. I am glad that I did not grow up in a country where I had to become that defensive and angry and judgmental and violent. But the thing is that they are thinking about these important issues, and they care. It is refreshing after the apathy of most US citizens today.

off to look for a place to live. I seem to have picked the most difficult possible way to move. Who knew you couldn't just buy a plane ticket, make sure your passports were current, and go?

Ok the thing is that there is almost no one on the kibbutz who has internet, which is the reason that I haven't been updating thing. This place is quite removed from the rest of the world, even though it is still definitely Israel. But I have been eating the freshest avocado and tomoato and every other fruit and vegetable that you can think of, it is awesome.

I will definitely write more about the kibbutz when I have time, but the other thing I wanted to comment on was the duality of the Israeli culture, constantly walking the line between an ancient culture/religion, and a modern Western nation. It is so interesting to me to observe the way families still gather together on Friday night to bring in Shabbat (the Sabbath) together, and yet they will also be out in the malls (which are as modern as anything you would see in the US) on the so-called Day of Rest (Saturday).

And I got my official Israeli ID card today! As my uncle said, now I am a "real Israeli."

I'm going to go to Jerusalem to visit a cousin on the day after tomorrow for a few days, and then return here for the Purim celebrations. Purim here is like Halloween, but with a history behind it (doesn't everything Jewish have a history? haha....) and it's the one day of the year where it is a mizvah (holy good deed) to drink yourself silly. So that should be interesting.

Okay sorry for the delay, there's not a lot of internet on the kibbutz, but I am safe and living the good life, but missing everyone!

So much to tell but no time right now, more later.

Much love.

Made it to Germany, safe and sound. Whew. It's about 0 degrees outside, and I actually saw snow on the ground as the plane was landing! That's like sighting #5 of my whole lifetime, people. Here is a running commentary of my flight:

3:00 pm PST - Emotions under control, after crying unashamedly all over the airport and in the boarding area. In line to board, there were these three ladies, I think they were talking about people in Russian. That's not very nice. I just do it in my head.

I wonder what the attitude towards "Aab"-looking people will be in Israel - I remember it being pretty racist, and I imagine it will only have gotten worse since 9-11 and all the Palestine stuff. I hope I am able to keep removed from that kind of thinking, for the most part.

Thank goodness the other guy in the row I am sitting in (the middle seat is free, yay!) doesn't seem to be a talker. I'm not in the mood.

5:40pm PST-The food on this flight is atrocious. I wish I could have signed up for the special meal, at least it looks a little fresher. I'm special too, dammit!

I love international flights, if only because the alcohol is free. Arren says to just have some wine, and I'll sleep like a baby [by the way, he was wrong about the sleeping thing - that didn't go so well]. I'm on my first glass. The guy in my row, Mr. No-Talk, has had about 3. Sometimes it's the quiet ones who are the alkies, I guess.

6:01 pm PST- Just went to the bathroom. You wanted to know that, didn't you? I did some exercizes and stretching, while I was in there. For anyone who hasn't made this a priority, you should do so immediately, the next time you fly. And Mom, that stretch you showed me was awesome - I feel much better.

Movie's on - gotta get my kicks where I can!

7:34 pm, PST- I forgot the story about when I got on the plane! So I mentioned that I had been crying - meaning my eyes were probably red, and what makeup? As I am waiting for the line to go down the aisle of the plane, I notice stairs going up. I asked the flight attendant guy, since I had nothing better to do, what that led to. Turns out, that''s where they stash the 1st class, so they don't even have to share air with us common folk. Then he looks at me and goes, "After everyone gets off the plane, you can take a peek if you want!" As if I were about 14. What the hell.

And I really do kind of want to see what it's like.

12:38am PST=9:38am Germany-time - 3/1/06- Well, I probably just sneaked in a little 3-4 hour nap. My body is going to be totally messed up with all the time changing and lack of sleep, haha. I had to chase down a flight attendant for 'breakfast' when I woke up, which was surprisingly better than dinner.

My ipod is out of battery. How is that? I just charged it before I left! What the hell am I going to do in Germany for so many hours???

12:53am PST=9:53 Germany-time- Hey Mom and Dad - I'm taking Airborne!

Ok well that's all I've got for now. A sidenote about the Frankfurt airport and what I view as a reflection of Europe as a whole: they are so eco-conscious, the maintenance-people ride bikes all over the airport instead of using trams!!!