Oct 2006

I decided to move the blog. Just because. The new location is:
http://themika.wordpress.com

woooohoo! onwards and upwards!

"An Israeli is someone who knows what's better for you than you do, and isn't embarrassed to ask you how much money you make."

So in Israel there is a head Sephardi Rabbi and a head Ashkenazi Rabbi for the whole country (or is it the whole Jewish world? I don't know. I don't pay attention to these things, except when the head Ashkenazi Rabbi was publicly disgraced a few months back for using Holy money for personal stuff and other general corrupted acts).

Anyhow, these are the guys who issue the newest rules based on their interpretation of the Holy Books, given whatever issues are at hand. So the head Sephardi guy, in his most recent decree, added these gems to the list:

1. No picking your nose on the Sabbath. (I guess some people put a lot of work into it)
2. No talking to someone through the bathroom door while sitting on the toilet.

wow. what would the pious do without this guy?

I did a phone survey in Hebrew tonight.

poor guy. I tried to warn him. In the end, I was pretty puch useless - I don't own a tv, don't have kids, and haven't ever bought anything for my kitchen. I don't know the Israeli TV channels, kids' furniture companies, or almost anything to do with the kitchen at all. And I don't know the words for any of those things (well, some) so the conversation was, shall we say, stilted.

But I was nice, because once you've been a telemarketer, you know how much it sucks. So hopefully he gets paid by the survey, not the quality of the answers. I even forgive him for getting impatient with me. Because I understand.

In other news, I have officially been deemed (by, like, everybody I know) Not American. WOOOHOOO! Well, except for my accent. Maybe I'll work on changing it. People have done it before... I feel like I've been knighted or something.

So the other day I was talking to my mom, and I mentioned the cute religious trainer and how he had winked at me that morning.

"Actually, he kind of winks at me a lot, mom --"

"--He probably just has en eye problem, poor guy!"

Thanks, mom.

But I'll forgive her, because she's sending me.... a care package!!! I LOVE care packages. Especially when a little bird tells me I'm going to be happy with the contents. Because among other goodies, they include slippers. And candy. And things to cheer me up when the going gets bumpy.

In other news, I have been craving tahini like crazy. Good thing I live in the land where I can buy the good shit - real Palestinian sesame paste - and make the best darn tahini you've ever tasted. MMM MMM GOOD.

... I think I should buy some slippers.

Sadly, not the Hawaiian kind.

A real conversation I overheard the other night on the bus, which was full of religious teen-aged girls:

Girl A: Does she even know we're friends?
Girl B: And, like, (some girl's name), too?
Girl A: Ohmigod, stop texting, already.
Girl B: Ohmigod, stop being such a JAP!
::silent pause::
Girl A: Okay, because I'm the one wearing Ralph?
::another pause for deep consideration of the subject at hand::
Girl C: Ohmigod, I've become obsessed with (name of some designer perfume).
Girl D (not as cool as the others): Is that what you've been spraying everywhere?
Girl C: Ya. I, like, bathe in it.

They got off soon after this. I looked out the window but all I could see were dowdy, frumpy religious girls - and then one turned and I saw the telltale sign of too much makeup.

I don't get it. Are they transplants? Is it possible that JAPiness is an inherited trait?? Can we send them back to wherever they came from???

Maybe I'll pin my hopes on the new year, Gregorian-style. Since the Jewish New Year started I've been slammed at work, left to care for various pets as friends go out of town (trips that I can't join in because of the afore-mentioned work stress), and to top it all off: my computer had a stroke. I got the Blue Screen of Death, and nearly had a stroke myself.

Of course the first thing I do is call my dad, who helpfully points out that a) I should have been backing everything up, and b) I probably lost everything. Thanks, Dad. Instead of those little tidbits cheering me up, they promoted my somewhat-mediated anxiety into a full-blown freak-out. There were tears, curses, this-can't-really-be-happening-s. To be fair, he did try to help by finding me the Dell people in Israel. Unfortunately, they don't exist. So I proceeded to go to sleep (it was nighttime anyways, and it was either that or sink further into a funk).

In the morning I managed to find someone who would look at it first thing Sunday morning. Then I went out of town for the weekend. Nothing like avoiding reality to make things look better! I had a very nice weekend visiting with the family of a friend and coworker in a place called Holon, near Tel Aviv. It was Sukkot, so their whole family came over to eat, argue - I mean visit together, and etc. It was great fun to just be in a family environment, and they're just the sweetest family ever. When they're not yelling - I mean talking - that is.

Anyhow the computer guy came on Sunday, and discovered that my information was still salvagable. He shall forever be called the Hero of my Life. It turns out that my hard drive was in the process of dying, and was nice enough to hiccup on its way down so I could do some last-minute magic to save the contents. Well, so the Hero of my Life could do the magic. Of course, he called me today - the magic will cost about the same as a month's rent. Awesome. Still, at least it's all retrievable. As soon as I get my computer back, invigorated with a new breath of life (and a month's rent-worth of new crap in its belly), I promise to back up every day, every time I do anything on the thing. Every time. For ever and ever. And ever. I will back up like nobody has backed up before. Amen.

It was Yom Kippur yesterday, the Jewish holy Day of Atonement. Gemar Chatima Tova is what you say on this day, since the idea is that at the start of the year, you (hopefully) get written in the Book of Life for at least another year.

I don't remember being in Israel for Yom Kippur ever, and it was amazing. Through my fast-induced haze (fast to atone for your sins and - for me - cleanse the body to prepare for the new year), I managed to be awed by the fact that the entire city of Jerusalem stopped. As in, no cars even. In fact, it is tradition that it is the one day of the year when you can WALK down any street or highway, because everything is just totally silent. You don't understand what it is like to live in a big, LOUD, messy city - and then have a day of complete inaction.

This is Betzalel, a busy street near my house. Note that the road is the opposite of normal - the cars are (parked) on the side of the road, and the people are in the middle. It's pretty crazy, and totally cool.

It was interesting to see how different people around me treated the holiday. Most people I know were surprised to know that I fast, because I don't tend to be very religious. My boss fasted and prayed the whole day the way you're truly supposed to, and my roommate didn't fast at all. In the morning I had some introspection time on the meaning of Yom Kippur and applying it to my life. In the early evening, we went to the top of this building in the Old City (AMAZING view, I tried to take pictures but it was too dark by the time I got around to it) to watch the sun set. I burned my list of sins/things I need to let go of up there, and then we went to break the fast. All in all it was one of the most unique, peaceful, and fulfilling days I've had in my life. I feel really good going into the new year, and about making changes that are going to be good for me. They say "Next year in Jerusalem," - well, I damn well did it this year!