Sep 2006

It is the time of the year for some of the most important Jewish holidays - the start of the new year (Rosh Ha'Shana) and tying up the lose ends from the previous year (Yom Kippur). Rosh Hashana already happened, and on Monday it will be Yom Kippur - the day of atonement. I just want to talk about it because a) I really like the idea of it in a lot of ways, and b) I've never experienced it in Jerusalem before, so I think it'll be extra-interesting. On Yom Kippur, Jews fast to purify themselves of the sins they committed in the year before, and pray to be written in the Book of Life. There's a week between Rosh Ha'Shana and Yom Kippur, when you're supposed to correct your sins/apologize to those you have wronged. I don't usually do this physically, but I do think about it. And I fast, because I like the idea of taking a day to make a physical sacrifice for spiritual cleansing.

As for being in Jerusalem when all this is happening - it's interesting because most of my friends aren't religious (if they're Jewish at all), so they don't even fast or anything. On the other hand, there are a million more religious types who have come to be in Jerusalem for the holidays, who are sure to be fasting and even doing all the superreligious traditions like not even showering or brushing their teeth. I definitely fall somewhere in the middle (I think we can all guess which direction I tend to lean), but it's interesting to see the strict observance contrasted with the secularism that Diaspora Jews (those not from Israel) aren't able to take to the same extreme as secular Israelis, if they want to maintain any semblance of Jewish identity. Most people here wish you an 'easy fast' for the holiday - it's not a particularly joyous day, so I guess that's the best they can do. Anyhow it should be really, really interesting to see what the day itself actually turns out to be like - I'll let you know!

In other news, I had my first trip to the shuk today since I've been back and my first felafel at the best place EVER. It's my favorite, and a felafel is only 10 shekels - that's like a little over $2. It's good to be back!

this may not be very coherent, since I got back today and have been falling asleep in conversations all over the place. But I got back to Jerusalem today and realized that the Jewish new year celebrations were still underway, meaning no stores or buses or any of that kind of thing. So the city was a little spooky-quiet. But I went on a picnic with the roomie and friend for her birthday, and it was totally awesome to hang out with them again, I really did miss them. Of course, now I'm missing my family and friends in the US. As my mom put it, I'm in a place that no matter what I do (where I go) some part of me will suffer.

so true, and so not the level of thinking I am able to handle right now. Off to bed, then maybe I'll be able to handle sentences and all that.

Here I am, back home. It's weird and good and lots of things I can't put words to yet. I'll get more to that in a bit, but first let's talk about the journey.

As I was driving around Jerusalem in the monit sherut before heading to the airport, I realized that Jerusalem has become home. I have achieved that feeling that I was looking for when I first moved here, where the streets are familiar, I know my regular stores and the shuk; I am comfortable here. I am one of them - I am a Jerusalemite. This is home. Not necessarily the forever kind, but home nonetheless, for however long it may be. My friends, family, the language and the culture - they are all a part of me.

on the plane:
Is anyone truly aware of how long 12.5 hours is? And then another 5 or 6 hours more on top of that? Think about it. If you had nothing but a little cramped chair, a couple of books, and a bunch of strangers all crowded around you - those hours seem to last exponentially longer than normal time. Every time I thought that maybe we were almost there, I was told there were still hours and hours. I was going to jump out of my skin.

Not to say that the flight to Toronto was uneventful - So I'm on the plane, right, and these men in front of me have been drinking steadily ("More Canadian beer?") since they came by with the first round of drinks. They are Israeli, Mizrachim (Jews of Middle Eastern/North African decent - basically, it means they look Middle Eastern). Classic good ol' boy Israeli manly men.

Ok actually first of all, in the middle of the flight, they make an announcement over the loudspeaker that someone was found smoking in the bathroom, and not to smoke because it is forbidden and you will be arrested when the plane lands. Um. WHO DOES THAT??? Smoking on airplanes has been illegal for like 20 years. And especially in this hyper-hysterical post-9/11 terrorism-phobic-maniacal world we live in today???

Back to the men sitting in front of me - apparently they know the guy, because he comes to talk to them and is all worried that he'll go to jail or get kicked out of Canada or something. What an idiot. As far as I'm concerned, he deserves whatever he gets. Anyhow, these men, being Israeli good ol' boys - one of them stops a passing flight attendant to tell him that his friend is really sorry, take it easy on him, he didn't mean it, etc. I wanted to tell them that this kind of thing doesn't work outside of Israel, the whole macho-macho-protexia I'll put in a good word for you deal. We're talking about Canadians. And flying, which everyone has an extra-big stick up their ass about.

Plus the beer had got them all sociable, and so it went. I guess the flight attendants might have asked them to tone it down, but I didn't see it. All of a sudden the flight attendants are all annoyed, which makes these men belligerent, and then they start yelling at the young woman and old man in the row in front of them, who I guess were the ones complaining. The chick, also being Israeli, starts yelling back, then calls for the flight attendants when the men start to get in her face. The flight attendant comes and starts yelling at the men to take their seats and be quiet, and then threatening arrest and jail when they continue to argue ("You! 16 days! You - 16 days!" It was kind of comical trying to see a weeny Canadian trying to take on these guys, really). It was all very dramatic though.

You won't believe it, but even after all this, the guys were trying to put in a good word for their smoking friend. Really. thought it might actually do him more harm than good to be associated with those guys, but whatever. In the end, the guy apologized so much that the flight attendant talked to the pilot and reported that the guy wouldn't be arrested when the plane landed.

When the plane got into Toronto, I ate something (the meals on the plane were inedible), and the 12.5 hours caught up with me. I don't even have anything to say about the rest of the trip, because my mind was incapable of processing anything. All I know is that I made it to San Francisco.

I have been back for a little over a day now. I have talked to a few friends and family, but so far I have only really spent time with my mom. It is so good to see her, I can't even express it. And the thing is that we're talking almost exclusively in Hebrew! I'm finding that I want it that way, maybe to keep the connection, but also because those are the words that are coming to me when I want to express myself. It's funny because sometimes I have to stop and change gears totally when I want to talk to like a waiter or someone in the store or something. I'm not used to everyone going on in English! I'm feeling more Israeli than I feel in Israel, but I guess that makes sense, because I'm more American than the people there. I'm definitely different from when I left (in a good way, I think). It's good to be here and I miss Israel and Jerusalem and my friends and I can't wait to see everyone else I know and love here. It's all a bit confusing and complicated, but I guess that's the life of a bi-continental existence, and I'm just starting to experience it. Dang I picked a hard road. Typical. I wouldn't want it any other way!

It has been a while. Sorry. I've been working like a madwoman so that I can feel a little less guilty about taking the time off work to go home to Cali for the 2.5 weeks. Although I will also be working from there. I've got 4 jobs going these days: my regular full-time job, 2 freelance editing projects, and another thing I do on Friday afternoons. You bet your ass I'm looking forward to getting away from (most of) it all!

I'm superexcited about the visit. Like, the closer it gets, the more excited I become. I'm a little nervous because I know that I've changed, and I'm sure that things there have changed, and I don't know what it will be like. And I really, really don't want lectures or questions about what the hell do I think I'm doing living in the Middle East with everything that's going on, etc. But I love my family and friends so much, it will do my heart good to see them. It's going to be strange, to understand everything, to not struggle with understanding and being understood, to live in only one language again. hehe.

I went to the kibbutz over the weekend, and it was great. It was so nice just to get out of the city, and remember what the rest of Israel is like - what for me is my more fundamental connection to the country. My uncle and aunt took me to the best steak restaurant I have ever been to in my life on Friday night. Seriously. They know the owner, so they told him to just bring whatever. Um, wow. Everything, from the wine to the bread to the meat (tender, juicy, red... AMAZING. I am so not a vegetarian) was incredible. I hung out with my cousin afterwards, which was fun 'cause I don't get to see her that much. I also visited with the couple who I stayed with when I first arrived in the country - some of the nicest people on the planet. I love them, and how I'm just a part of the family. I just walked in, gave them kisses, got myself something to eat (this is Israel, land of the Jews - everything starts and ends with a meal), and sat down on the couch to watch TV. LOVE IT. Being in Jerusalem, where my life is mostly independent and I don't see family very much, it was nice to have the reminder that they are there.

And there's another baby in the family! My cousin who I stayed with when I came to Jerusalem is now the proud father of a baby boy. I went to visit them in the hospital yesterday, and all are doing well. The baby is so sweet! You can tell he's still kind of in shock from the world after being in his little cocoon for so long. What a cutie.

I fly out tomorrow, woooooooooooooooooo!